Please accept my deepest and sincerest apology for the discomfort and inconvenience I will probably cause you by doing the speed limit and only the speed limit on the streets and highways of our fair city moving forward.
I got a speeding ticket last night, and I accept responsibility for it. Since moving here, I began to drive like a Memphian as a matter of survival. But as any transplant can tell you, following established, reasonable traffic safety rules in Memphis can be hazardous to your health.
Signal before changing lanes? Cars will speed up to ram you! Trying to merge onto the freeway? Prepare to be cursed out! Driving at a comfy pace? Better speed up or get ran the f@ck over by an 18-wheeler.
I won’t even get into the hazards of being a pedestrian.
So it’s Drivin Ms. Eryka time. White gloves and everything.